Shwomb

Getting out of the shower is really hard for me. I imagine it being something like coming out of the womb. You've been in there forever and it's all nice and warm, and nothing can happen to you in your little cocoon. Nobody can yell at you or fire you or make you the butt of a joke that they say is just a joke but it still really hurts your feelings and is embarrassing. They just can't, because you're in there and you're safe.

And then all the people in the hospital room are like "Come out, we want to meet you!!" And your mom is using all her core strength to get you out into the real world so she can see what you look like and you guys can hang out and you don't keep pushing on her bladder all day. So you say alright, because you're pretty adventurous.

You immediately regret your decision. You were so warm in there, and now you're just standing out in the open, unarmed, getting hit with the cold breeze from every direction, literally naked to the elements. And it does not feel good. Some stranger is holding you upside down while you freeze. Nudity never even occurred to you, and now you're cold and embarrassed. Finally someone wraps you up in a blanket, and the battle begins for you to stay warm enough for the rest of your earthly life. The calm rhythmic heartbeat echoing in your universe is gone, and now all you hear are too many voices, and one especially loud and screeching wail. You realize it's you making that noise and then comes your first wave of self resentment.

You wanna go back. You should have stayed in. But now you're here.

Now, you are here.

And the only way to move is forward.

So I always do end up getting out of the shower, eventually.