Monday, March 31, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 8

  1. I'm grateful that I woke in in my bed this morning. I took derby out early and saw just one of many people sleeping on the sidewalk. 
  2. I'm grateful for my surgeon for being kind, compassionate, and candid at my post op appointment today. 
  3. I'm grateful for fro yo.
  4. I'm grateful my sister had a really great career day.
  5. I'm grateful that my roommate offered to help me.
  6. I'm grateful for Derby.
  7. I'm grateful for Derby's sixth sense, to know when I'm not ok and stay by my side until I am.
  8. I'm grateful for a nice compliment from my dad.
  9. I'm grateful I got to hear my little niece on the phone today. Her voice brings me joy.
  10. I'm grateful I will get to see my mom tomorrow.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 7

  1. I'm grateful for Derby
  2. I'm grateful for pain killers
  3. I'm grateful for my bed
  4. I'm grateful for my great aunt Edie
  5. I'm grateful for socks
  6. I'm grateful for night time
  7. I'm grateful for my roommate
  8. I'm grateful to shed people from my life that don't care about me
  9. I'm grateful that the world is big enough that I might never have to see some people again
  10. I'm grateful that my family is healthy

Saturday, March 29, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 6

  1. I'm grateful that I had a really great conversation with my mom this morning in which we were able to really communicate openly. It was so nice.
  2. I'm grateful for a care package from my best friend, full of things I love.
  3. I'm grateful that late last night I was able to catch up and spend some quality time with my roommate.
  4. I'm grateful for Derby Blue and her loving snuggles.
  5. I'm grateful for a nice day and the chance to walk around in the sun.
  6. I'm grateful I woke up from a nightmare this morning to realize everything was okay.
  7. I'm grateful to spend some quality time with my favorite guy.
  8. I'm grateful to come down off of an uncomfortable coffee high.
  9. I'm grateful for a life saving heating pad I was able to borrow for a few hours!
  10. I'm grateful that my boyfriend was nurturing when I needed some help tonight. 

What are you grateful for?

Friday, March 28, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 5

Today was really hard. What I would like to do here is complain about that, but I'm not going to.
  1. I'm grateful for the lesson I learned on the importance of not putting things off. Because I was angry I did not deal with my jay walking ticket in a timely manner, and now I have to pay a shitload of money. Obviously, this is a lesson I needed to learn and I am grateful to have learned it.
  2. I'm grateful for a really miraculous meditation I did this morning. 
  3. I'm grateful that I was able to find a song I really wanted to hear. If you want to, give it a listen
  4. I'm grateful that I met a group of new people and was welcomed with open arms to a special place I went tonight. 
  5. I'm grateful to me for making myself get out of the house and go to this place. 
  6. I'm grateful that my doorman let me in when I got home because I lost the clicker to my garage. 
  7. I'm grateful for Derby Blue, my little furry bundle of love. 
  8. I'm grateful that Derby kept my favorite spot warm while I was out because I'm cold tonight!
  9. I'm grateful that I probably forget what actual cold is now that I live in San Diego. 
  10. I'm grateful that I know there is a beautiful little girl sleeping soundly in her payjays in her red big girl bed, so peacefully. 

Thursday, March 27, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 4

  1. I'm grateful that last night when I left Derby home alone for a few hours for the first time in a week she didn't get upset and poop on the carpet or eat the couch, she just hung out like a good little girl. 
  2. I'm grateful for Gabby Bernstein's Miracles Now lecture and all the synchro-destine things she said that I needed to hear.
  3. I'm grateful for signs that I'm on the right path.
  4. I'm grateful I finally did some work I've been putting off.
  5. I'm grateful I took the time to clear out space by getting rid of a pile of junk I've kept around.
  6. I'm grateful to me for taking care of myself.
  7. I'm grateful that this project has inspired others to be mindful of their own gratitude.
  8. I'm grateful for an hour long phone call about nothing with my best friend thousands of miles away.
  9. I'm grateful for a cool breeze and the sun on my face as I took a walk with Derb around my neighborhood today.
  10. I'm grateful for green tea and a comfy blanket. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 3

  1. I'm grateful that today when I woke up my first thought was not that I'm in pain.
  2. I'm so grateful that today I've had less pain than any other day since my surgery!
  3. I'm grateful that I got the chance to catch up with an old friend and laugh at him for accidentally making out with an 18 year old. 
  4. I'm grateful that my beloved took Derby out for me when I needed to rest my body.
  5. I'm grateful that my beloved took me with him to a special place tonight.
  6. I'm grateful that I had so much energy today and didn't take any naps.
  7. I'm grateful for advice from my dad.
  8. I'm grateful that I get to run my fingers through my boyfriend's hair.
  9. I'm grateful for a really funny new episode of New Girl that made me hold my stitches because I was laughing so hard.
  10. I'm grateful that my sister asked me to help her on a wedding next month because I love working with her and I need the money. 

Spring Dreaming

I'm doing little else but sit in my place only barely moving and trying to recover. In my mind, I'm wearing all these amazing spring items from For Love & Lemons, which I have a huge crush on. Please enjoy. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

100 Days of Gratitude - Day 2

  1. I am SO grateful that within 24 hours of asking for a sign I received one. Miraculous!
  2. I'm grateful I was able to share this experience with a couple people who mean a lot to me.
  3. I'm grateful that I had the opportunity to sleep most of the day since I didn't sleep at all last night.
  4. I'm grateful for painkillers, because today I really needed them.
  5. I'm grateful for the cheery bouquet of flowers on my dining table sent by a good friend.
  6. I'm grateful to have hot running water and the opportunity to take as long of a shower as I wanted tonight.
  7. I'm grateful for my beloved. 
  8. I'm grateful he asked me if there's anything he could do to help me. 
  9. I'm grateful that my dad and brother are on a road trip together. This warms my heart.
  10. I'm grateful that today marks one week since my surgery and I am closer to being able to do things I love again like yoga and hiking! 

Monday, March 24, 2014

1,000 Things to be Grateful For : 100 Days of Gratitude, Day 1

A few days ago someone told me about the 100 Happy Days Challenge. I checked out the website and I think it's great to take note of all the things you're happy about...but why is it a challenge? It says "Can you be happy for 100 days in a row? You don't have time for this, right?" I'm here to tell you that you have time to be happy every single day in a row forever, and that's probably what this project is about. There are things each day that happen in and around our lives that are truly miraculous. Taking moments to think about and even record these things are gifts that we should give to ourselves and the people that help make us happy.

I call it gratitude. And gratitude is a constant lesson in my life that I absolutely love and turn to daily. It can change your day. It can change your life. The first time I ever did any real work with gratitude I was asked to write for 5 pages in my journal about everything I was grateful for. If I ran out? I kept going. It started off with things like

  • I'm grateful for my family
  • I'm grateful for my beautiful home
and by the fifth page I was getting really creative

  • I'm grateful for my hardwood floors, because I hate carpet

and things like that. It was such an amazing exercise. I could go on for 10 pages, 20 pages! It would be boring to read, and to write, but I could do it. And so could you! There are always things. Sometimes I have bad days, and these are the most important days for me to make my list.

  • I'm grateful I'm not homeless
  • I'm grateful I have all my limbs

I know a lot of folks think they're too cool to be grateful. But you're not. When someone tells me they don't have time to be grateful I ask them if they have time to feel shitty. I know at times my friends are annoyed when they complain to me and I tell them to hang up and write down 10 things they're grateful for. I've even been known to say "Gratitude is the attitude", how annoying is that? Ha! But I say it because we should all be humbled in the face of our problems, even when those problems are completely valid. But I'm not trying to tell you what to do. I'm just telling you what I'm doing.

I usually do my gratitude list before I open my eyes in the morning and as soon as I close them at night, but for the next 100 days I'm going to do them here on my blog. I'm going to make time to do it. 10 a day, for 100 days. 1,000 things to be grateful for. Enjoy, chime in, and if you're having a good day, maybe start one of your own. If you're having a bad day, definitely start one of your own. There's only one rule: No negativity in the list! For example, I can't say

  • I'm grateful I don't have a job right now since I can't work, even though it also means I have no money!
No. This does not work. Gratitude only.

Day 1

  1. I'm grateful that my surgery went really well last week.
  2. I'm grateful that some people I love dearly came to see me after my surgery and make me smile.
  3. I'm grateful that my mom took care of me when I got out of the hospital.
  4. I'm grateful that I don't have to go to an office and I have the comfort of recovery in my own home.
  5. I'm grateful to have great friends who have been calling, texting, sending things, etc. to let me know they're thinking about me and they want me to heal soon.
  6. I'm grateful for Derby Blue, who is ok with me walking really slowly when I take her out and is content to lay about most of the day.
  7. I'm grateful for Bob Ross, who I somehow got into today because, well I guess I needed to, and I'm grateful for his genuine loving words. 
  8. I'm grateful for my breakfast burrito I had this morning. It was so filling and delicious! 
  9. I'm grateful for my niece and nephew, that I got to see them so much in the past few days and soak up all their amazing love.
  10. I'm grateful that watching a bunch of kids run around in the grass for a few hours reminded me to remember to play. 

an excerpt

My second grade teacher liked to ask us,
“How do you feel today, on a scale of one to ten?”
Ten always meant I’m super, thank you 
and one was always not today, Mrs. MacAuley, not today.
But I never liked numbers, they would always
twist and rebel against my mind so I chose
to speak in colors instead.
January third - I am the color
of mint chocolate chip ice cream
but I’ve eaten all the chocolate chips.
I am calm.
February seventh - I am a bruise of
blues and violets today. I think it would
be best if I sat by the window.
These are unhappy colors.
April eleventh - I am turquoise, I am magenta,
I am every color in the rainbow.
April thirtieth - I am gray, I am silent.
May first - I am orange, the color of melting
creamsicles on a beach in July.
June twelfth - I am as yellow as the school bus
that will bring me home to summer. I am free.
Twelve years later, I still use colors.
The winter makes me feel cobalt blue, the ocean
turns me a seafoam green. Violets and purples
leave me uneasy and scarlet is a fever of fury.
Some nights I drown in shades of navy, denim,
and cornflower but other nights I meditate in forests of
harlequin and shamrock.
But you,
you leave me a blinding white followed by a soft yellow:
the color of sunlight after a period of darkness.
— Kelsey Danielle, “A Diary of Colors”

Saturday, March 22, 2014


Getting out of the shower is really hard for me. I imagine it being something like coming out of the womb. You've been in there forever and it's all nice and warm, and nothing can happen to you in your little cocoon. Nobody can yell at you or fire you or make you the butt of a joke that they say is just a joke but it still really hurts your feelings and is embarrassing. They just can't, because you're in there and you're safe.

And then all the people in the hospital room are like "Come out, we want to meet you!!" And your mom is using all her core strength to get you out into the real world so she can see what you look like and you guys can hang out and you don't keep pushing on her bladder all day. So you say alright, because you're pretty adventurous.

You immediately regret your decision. You were so warm in there, and now you're just standing out in the open, unarmed, getting hit with the cold breeze from every direction, literally naked to the elements. And it does not feel good. Some stranger is holding you upside down while you freeze. Nudity never even occurred to you, and now you're cold and embarrassed. Finally someone wraps you up in a blanket, and the battle begins for you to stay warm enough for the rest of your earthly life. The calm rhythmic heartbeat echoing in your universe is gone, and now all you hear are too many voices, and one especially loud and screeching wail. You realize it's you making that noise and then comes your first wave of self resentment.

You wanna go back. You should have stayed in. But now you're here.
Now, you are here.
And the only way to move is forward.
So I always do end up getting out of the shower, eventually.